Grade 6

Hear them out

Disagreeing and staying friends. Part of moving and feeling good.

Hear them out

Disagreeing and staying friends · Alberta Grade 6 · maddyhelps.com

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Your friend wants to spend Saturday at the skate park. You want to go to the library's maker day. Tick whether each response considers your friend or shuts them down. Then practise your own.

Response	Considers them	Shuts them down
That's a dumb idea.
What do you like about the skate park?
Fine, whatever. I'm not coming.
I really want to try the 3D printer. Could we do the skate park in the morning and the library after?
You always get to choose.
I feel left out when we only do what you want.

Turn “You never listen to me” into an I-statement

Think of someone who disagreed with you. What might they have been thinking, feeling or needing?

For the grown-up

Hear them out

Considers them: “What do you like…”, “I really want to…”, “I feel left out…”. Shuts them down: “That's a dumb idea…”, “Fine, whatever. I'm not…”, “You always get to…”. An I-statement: “I feel ignored when I'm talking and you look at your phone.”

“You always get to choose” may even be true, but it blames instead of solving. The I-statement version — “I feel left out…” — says the same thing in a way the other person can answer.

Why this matters is on the moving and feeling good page. More sheets